C'est La Vie, meu amor.

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The drunken marathon
So I’m in France to get goon-faced drunk while running a marathon through grape-strewn Bordeaux vineyards. Why not?

I’m competing in the 27th annual Marathon du Medoc, a.k.a. The Drunken Marathon. The race is about to start and, though I’ve been to Carnival in Brazil and Mardi Gras in New Orleans, I’ve never seen a party as crazy as this one.

Every September, more than 8,000 runners, winos, miscreants and other costumed deviants descend on Bordeaux vineyards to taste wine while jogging 42 kilometres through 59 vineyards and dozens of French chateaux.

We’ve gathered in Pauillac, a tiny town in Aquitaine, where the marathon starts and finishes at a leisurely, hiccupping pace. Marathon du Medoc is also nicknamed The Longest Marathon in the World, and by that they mean it’s the slowest.

Think about it: How fast could you run 26 miles if you had to run through 23 wine stations during a race where they serve you fresh-shucked oysters, grilled beef and some of France’s greatest reds? More than 100 of France’s finest wineries are pouring along the route. (Illustration by Steve Murray)

I WANT TO DO THIS.